As the cold winds of the winter of 2022 swept through, they brought with them a period of introspection and realization that would forever alter the course of my life and work. This season wasn’t marked just by the chill of the season; it was a chilling recognition that things were not going as planned. My ventures, my mission, and perhaps even my approach to ministry and leadership, faced obstacles that seemed insurmountable. Amidst the quiet solitude that winter often brings, I found myself in a profound internal battle, questioning my faith in a way I had never experienced since being saved in 2016.

Wondering if I had become a modern-day caricature of Job or Jonah—tested and tried, caught in a storm of doubt and despair—I wrestled with the silence of unanswered questions and grappled with the direction of my calling. Successes felt overshadowed by challenges, and the path ahead seemed uncertain. This was not just a crisis of faith but an invitation to explore its depths, to confront my beliefs and emerge with a more nuanced understanding of my spiritual journey.

Acknowledging my doubts didn’t weaken my faith; instead, it became the foundation for it to evolve and mature. I learned that faith is not static; it is a dynamic, ongoing conversation with the divine, fraught with questions, challenges, and, ultimately, growth. This chapter of my life, this winter of questioning, was a painful yet transformative experience, teaching me that moments of doubt are not an aberration in a life of faith but a crucial part of its expression and evolution.

This period of reflection allowed me to see that while the road I had been on was filled with good intentions, perhaps it was time to carve out a new path—a path more aligned with my core values, my evolving understanding of leadership, and the deep-seated desire to make a tangible impact in the lives of those struggling with substance use disorder and the communities we aimed to serve.

The winter of 2022 was a turning point, a moment of clarity amidst the storms. It taught me the importance of listening—to myself, to the whispers of change, and to the needs of those around me. This wasn’t a retreat but a strategic regrouping; a chance to redefine what success meant and how best to achieve it.

In sharing this part of my story, I hope to offer solace to those who may find themselves in the throes of their own spiritual winters. Questioning your faith does not make you lost; sometimes, it’s the very thing that leads you back to its true essence, stronger and more certain than ever. My hope is to remind others that moments of doubt and realization are not signs of failure but opportunities for profound personal and professional growth. It’s okay to admit that things aren’t going well; what’s more important is the courage to embrace change, to pivot with purpose, and to move forward with renewed vigor and vision.

That’s it. No fancy graphics, no cool widgets… just plain text and honest truth.